“We are both much more appreciative of each other, more thoughtful about the other's needs and have improved our general chemistry.” — Matt
What is couples counseling?
Professional couples counseling is a collaborative effort to improve the relationship between two individuals. The relationship is, in fact, the client. Couples counseling helps identify the central concerns or issues and work through the range of available options to make the relationship healthy.
No judgment or keeping score
A professional counselor does not make decisions for you or your partner in the relationship. It is never the counselor’s job to judge who is right or wrong or to keep score.
The Professional Couples Counseling Process
There are five stages in professional couples counseling.
- Identification of the problem(s)
- Definition of the solution(s)
- Articulation of problem(s) and proposed solution(s)
- Negotiation and workable solution(s)
Stage One: Identification of the problem(s)
Based on Dr. Anne’s training and experience, there are a few basic assumptions about what makes a relationship successful.
First, each of the partners in the relationship must have their needs met.
So, the first order of business is to identify the source(s) of disharmony in the relationship.
From these issues. you’ll uncover which needs are and are not being met by whom and how it happens.
Once unmet needs are defined, each individual must decide what is required to meet those needs.
Stage Two: Definition of the solution(s)
In stage two, each partner must do the personal work required to gain understand themselves and what it will take to feel loved and fulfilled in the relationship.
This self-awareness is often the most challenging part of the process. It may require individual sessions to facilitate progress.
Again, you decide your needs and how your needs must be met.
What works for one individual or couple may not work at all for another. Therefore, Dr. Anne offers alternatives, suggestions, and ideas. Ultimately, the decisions are yours to make.
Stage Three: Articulation of problem(s) and proposed solution(s)
In stage three, both partners talk through the problems and the proposed solutions with Dr. Anne’s assistance.
The third stage requires that each partner make their needs understood both to themselves and their partner. They also need to be clear on what they think it will take to have those needs met.
Each partner must clearly understand what the other is saying and asking.
The goal is to learn to listen and understand, not necessarily to agree or disagree.
Once both partners understand the nature of the problems and the reasons for the solutions, stage four can begin.
Stage Four: Negotiation and workable solution(s)
At this point, both partners must assess the information gathered in the previous stages and decide whether or not their partner's needs and solutions are acceptable and workable.
Both partners must be able to accommodate each other's needs while still maintaining/attaining their own.
It does no good to make one partner happy at the expense of the other.
Both partners must be willing and able to give and get what they need in a relationship. And each partner must negotiate and represent their needs until they find together a mutually workable solution.
Stage Five: Resolution
The final stage, resolving exposed issues, requires the couple to agree and put their plan into daily practice.
If the couple can’t agree, then it’s time to plan for the relationship’s dissolution.
With an agreement and a plan, the real work begins. The couple begins the process of implementing the agreed-upon solution(s).
Whether staying together or parting, Dr. Anne can help make the process as agreeable and positive as possible.
Professional Counseling with The Clarity Key Model
Dr. Anne uses The Clarity Key Model in her professional counseling to teach specific methods to identify and eliminate blocks to reaching your goals.
“My goal is always to provide the deepest healing in the least amount of time with the least discomfort possible.” — Dr. Anne